The wold is my playground

And it was the day before she welcomes sunlight from a different region.

She smiled as she recalled the past three months of her life. She was not really sure what she felt; it was a mixture of everything but mainly fear and excitement. What lies ahead? She is uncertain, a very unusual feeling for a control freak like her. 

Tomorrow is the reason why she left yesterday. Yesterday that brought her to tears, anger, hatred and all those sucky feelings that a human could ever feel. three months ago she was a beast— a lonely beast who hated everything. Three months ago she was in love and brokenhearted at the same time. Broken and Lost.

She lived in the past, continually holding on to the memories that took her to the place where she felt alive and complete. she hated herself for walking away in her comfort zone. For crying out loud, she broke her own heart. it was her choice! she can’t blame anyone but herself. As the world continued to spin, she was stuck in her past. everyone moved except her.

three months.

She don’t know if there is any empirical explanation why people feel better after the 3rd month of a heartbreak or why things get better when you do it the third time.

All she knows is that on the third month of her heartbreak, she woke up one day feeling better. the bitter feelings she had were slowly fading. loneliness kissed her goodbye. She was very grateful to God for giving her the strength to surpass depression and her addiction with her lifestyle and to that someone. she was grateful because she now knows the reason why all those things have to happen. she has to be healed. she has to fix herself on her own. Back there, she thought she was happy but what she did not realize is that she is losing herself already. she was changed. And God would not let that happen because he knows that this girl was meant for something bigger and better.God needs to remind her that she has to set her priorities and that means leaving her lifestyle and God knows she will break her heart but its the only way to make her realize that she is losing the spark of a dreamer; that the path she is taking is wrong.

The magic of three months.

She felt lighter and happier. The feeling was unexplainable— its as if she was born again. She knows she was ready and God knows as well. God has finally given her the gift that was promised to her. Finally. Whoever said that God gives you what you deserve in the proper time is very right. right time. right place. she is ready to take off.

She is very thankful to the lord for everything, for loving her despite questioning his intentions. She now know the reasons and she is very grateful.

Sometimes you have to leave an old habit or lifestyle to pursue something bigger— to pursue your dreams. Sometimes you may have to leave places, things and people you love behind in order to grow up. Leaving them does not mean you are forgetting them. There are sacrifices that we have to take in order to move in our life. The future belongs to those who are not afraid to take risks.

The condition of her heart is pretty much okay right now. She has forgiven herself. No more hatred and anger. She now understands that she was not the one who left him. He chose to leave her. But no more bitterness. She is wiser and more careful now.

A new heart beats in her chest.

And tomorrow, a new life awaits her. More challenges may come her way but she is sure that she is ready to face everything.

And what better way to close a chapter and open a new page? A haircut. She got herself a new haircut.